her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
