he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
