I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
