Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
