i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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