A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
