i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm passing your future prison.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
