we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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