Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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