Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.

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  (561): I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on. http://tfl.nu/csv9
  Replies (14) Good night (4961) Bad night (732)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

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  (361): At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now? http://tfl.nu/lbi5
  Replies (21) Good night (4474) Bad night (685)
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  (716): View more from New York

  once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party

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  (716): once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party http://tfl.nu/h6v5
  Replies (10) Good night (898) Bad night (3859)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever

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  (917): hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever http://tfl.nu/y96z
  Replies (7) Good night (2065) Bad night (730)
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  (760): View more from California

  PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.

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  (760): PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART. http://tfl.nu/0igl
  Replies (12) Good night (2838) Bad night (771)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.

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  (863): I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious. http://tfl.nu/2u5k
  Replies (5) Good night (2541) Bad night (676)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same

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  (208): I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same http://tfl.nu/tmvd
  Replies (3) Good night (1768) Bad night (526)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off

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  (519): my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off http://tfl.nu/nyl9
  Replies (9) Good night (2922) Bad night (474)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right

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  (903): You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right http://tfl.nu/ohnr
  Replies (3) Good night (1239) Bad night (378)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.

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  (859): Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/0u25
  Replies (6) Good night (437) Bad night (745)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)

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  (774): I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-) http://tfl.nu/aq14
  Replies (8) Good night (1536) Bad night (507)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?

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  (601): You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench. (1-601): Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan? http://tfl.nu/mbl9
  Replies (17) Good night (2038) Bad night (442)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.

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  (715): I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night. http://tfl.nu/5yhi
  Replies (6) Good night (526) Bad night (1338)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.

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  (307): We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying. http://tfl.nu/19ej
  Replies (2) Good night (1398) Bad night (319)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..

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  (573): Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you.. http://tfl.nu/j404
  Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (285)

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