My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize