I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
