If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!