The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I want to fling myself into the sun
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian