did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame