I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary