I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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