I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
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Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.