We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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