school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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