Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
