I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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