The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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