You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
