He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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