I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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