I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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