maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
