That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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