Cold hands, warm shart.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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