I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
