Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
