You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
