we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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