i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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