Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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