We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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