I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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