I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
