Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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