Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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