Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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