Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
