Will you blow on my dice?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
