These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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