I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
