Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
