and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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