It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
