Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
