Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you never un-have a 4some
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
