i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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