Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
