Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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