I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
