i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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