The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
