wakey wakey hands off snakey
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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