the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize