LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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