dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Your penis caused this!
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