I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
