I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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