just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
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She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
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Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Couch. On fire.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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