you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This girl is more easily done than said...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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