Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
