did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize