Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
