I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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