If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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