I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
