You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
