It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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